What is resistance? For most of us it is a past-time defensive mechanism to help keep us safe. Its intention to keep us from harm can also keep us from expanding into the sacred place where our inner soul voice calls us to go.
Resistance is when we vacillate between doing the thing that we feel in our heart vs. the thing that we feel from we "should" do with our mind. It's the difference between going with or against our gut feeling. Between going with or against ourself. And in those tender moments of tug of war, I offer you a story of how I overcame some of my resistance to follow the voice of my heart, of my soul.
Instead of focusing only on my individual contemplation, I think of the essence of my resistance and then imagine all the other people in the world having a similar struggle. Instead of making my decision based solely on myself, I make my next move as an ambassador and conscious participant in this collective group.
For example: A couple years ago, I was in what felt like an emotionally abusive relationship with a man I had a hard time releasing, even though I knew in my bones it wasn't right. (Poignantly ironic, since what I teach women is to trust the voice of their body.) It got to a point where I thought of all the women in the world who were in a relationship that betrayed their own relationship to themselves. And I thought of all the women who may never have the financial freedom, emotional support, community resources or inner faith to make a courageous leap and start again. When I broke up with him, I didn't do it just for myself. I did it with the awareness of the feminine that we are all connected. I did it to honor my role in the collective and honor that everything we do and don't do is connected to everyone else. Our faith, freedom and love is a gift not only to ourselves but to all of us. I'm so grateful for this teaching to be able to source strength beyond my own individual journey and to find support and inspiration through aligning with the collective journey we are all on.
Another example is when I started this blog almost five years ago and had all those common thoughts before putting yourself out there of, "Who am I to share my voice in the world?" "What if people don't like or disagree with my message?" etc. Instead of running that mental loop like a hamster on a wheel, I stopped and thought of all the women in the world who were not using their voice in the world because of those same culturally infused discrediting beliefs. And then, I wrote anyway. I wrote because I want to read what other women have to say. I wrote it because I so yearn for a world and a life where we each get to express ourselves authentically. I wrote it because I wish for the expression of my truth to be an invitation for others to share theirs. And that has been the most rewarding part! When women write me and share that something I wrote inspired them to bring voice to the life they want to create and the desire to live in this wise, wild and free world, I think back to that moment where it was because of them I overcame my resistance.
In addition to Qoya Retreats, Desire Map Book Club Circles, Goddess gatherings and simply getting together with girlfriends, there is a very special event I'm honored to be a part of happening this weekend in New York City called Reveal. It's creation and manifestation are from an earth angel, profound writer of the book Reveal and dear friend, Meggan Watterson. I have never seen a woman channel the divine the way she did last year with the invocation of the day at Reveal. I am still deeply connected to many of the people I met at Reveal last year and I'm forever inspired and moved by the time I was a participant 4 years ago. I invite you to join us if you are able and encourage you to take this day to reconnect to yourself and to the collective feminine force.
No one is exempt from the human experience. We are all going through similar initiations with different details and different timing, but in their essence, it is a moment to moment invitation of shifting from fear to love, from fear to faith, from fear to trust. Fear is an idea in the mind. Love, faith and trust live in the heart. I'll be sharing Qoya and the opportunity to embody the experiences that we will share together on Saturday at Reveal and also encourage you to check out upcoming Qoya Retreats, Find A Class Near You and remember you can do Qoya Videos Free Online anytime.
Overcoming resistance isn't only about shifting our perspective from our individual journey to the collective journey, but it's also engaging with community. Isolation is the easiest way for a woman to lose confidence and think that her challenges are her's alone. When we come together and tell the truth about our lives, we liberate ourselves and each other to be even more wise, wild and free.
May there be a little more space for love, truth, freedom and dancing today and always.