Reclaiming one’s sensuality in the body isn’t the only way to feel the physical sensation of freedom, but it is the most common place where this connection is overlooked, oppressed, or self-abandoned. One night Rochelle was writing and feeling like she was the first and only person talking about the interface between religion and the oppression of feminine sexuality. She intellectually knew this was not true, there were so many us courageously having this conversation, but the overarching hierarchy of "the system" felt like a cloud above me on the verge of striking me with lightning. She prayed. She said, "Dear Universe, Please I need something to know this is the right direction for the book." She heard, "Go watch a TED talk." She went to www.ted.com and typed "women" in the search bar. What came up was this:
After 70 years as a devout Southern Baptist, former President and Nobel Peace Prize winner Jimmy Carter severed ties with the church because of his belief that the mistreatment of women is the number one global human rights issue of our time; he also asserts that part of the problem is when “the scriptures are misinterpreted to keep men in an ascendant position.”
Rochelle is so grateful for Jimmy Carter. To her, he became the courageous embodiment of standing for his values instead of the institutions who honor them in some circumstances and betray them in others.
Rochelle isn't talking about a revolution of casual sex, but about reconnecting our sensuality to our spirituality and our sexuality to our freedom.
Maybe there’s a deeper reason why so many of us call out the phrase, “Oh my God, Oh my God, I’m coming” in moments of intense pleasure. For many of us, connected sex offers a taste of heaven on earth embodied. Sex can be what connects us to the Creator, while also giving us the opportunity to step into the role of co-creator. Through the peak experience of orgasm, we are given the literal code for creation.
Metaphorically, does the freedom to experience our sensual life beyond procreation inspire and empower us to co-create with the Divine in other ways?
It’s worth exploring to find out.
MOVEMENT: HIP CIRCLING
Before doing your hip circling, you can do this video to get into feeling your hips. Also, let this playlist inspire you.
RITUAL: HONORING YOUR SENSES
A powerful practice in any ritual is incorporating all the elements and inviting all available senses into anything you do, whether it is running a bath, planning a dinner party, or performing your next ceremony for yourself. We suggest making an altar with these items to visit on a daily basis, decorated with a beautiful cloth like our favorite Prayer Cloth to cradle them all.
Here are some of my favorite ways to engage the senses:
Nutiva Coconut Oil is really lovely to use for self-massage (and cooking!)
Chocolate has long been thought sacred by many cultures around the world. Our personal favorite is Wei Chocolate.
Spend some time taking in the beauty of fresh flowers, art, or simply looking at yourself in the mirror.
COMMUNITY CONNECTION: THE SEX SALON
Sex Salon and other Exploration Resources
Rochelle writes about her extended massive orgasm training with Steve and Vera Bodansky in this chapter of the book.
Jaiya is a sex educator that offers real insight on the different stages of sexuality and different erotic blueprints one can identify with.
Saida Desilets, PhD, offers expert advice with her book Emergence of the Sensual Woman and initiating women into the Jade Egg Practice.
Through Nicole Daedone's book and her organization One Taste, she is on a mission to share Orgasmic Meditation (OM) with the world, a consciousness practice designed for singles and couples to experience more connection, vitality, pleasure, and meaning in every aspect of their lives. Learn more by watching her video with a series by Deepak Chopra.
For world-changing sex, use L. Condoms from Talia Frenkel's company that Rochelle writes about in Chapter 3. For every condom you purchase, L. gives one to a developing country in need. They are also environmentally friendly, formulated using 100% High Grade Natural Latex that is purified for an ultra low latex scent, glycerin and paraben free, vegan-friendly, and individually electronically tested for safety and reliability. Try them.
PILGRIMAGE: THE HEALING STONE
As you go on this potentially tender pilgrimage, be open to the soft voice of your soul versus the bullying voice of the ego and listen. You may hear something profound and paradigm shifting. You may hear something that doesn’t make any sense. You may not hear anything. Allow yourself to be open to whatever your unique experience will be.
More than just going on this pilgrimage is experiencing the potential deepening of your relationship with the natural world, specifically with stones. In Qoya trainings and private sessions, Rochelle often encourages people to blow the essence of their healing into the stone, so that even if they forget, the stone remembers. One of Rochelle's favorite stories that touches the heart of this truth is this book by Byrd Baylor.
*Click here to purchase a copy of Qoya: A Compass for Navigating an Embodied Life that is Wise, Wild and Free.