I was having one of those rites of initiation phases of my life. It lasted somewhere between a couple days, a couple weeks and a couple months.
My heart was breaking.
I opened up my friend, and fellow Qoya teacher, Kitty Cavalier's book Sacred Seduction for a quick dose of bibliomancy.
Bibliomancy is when you open up a book to any page and whatever you read is interpreted as divination. A direct link from source to you. It's like pulling a tarot card or one of my favorite Goddess pastimes swinging a pendulum (which I wrote a blog post about last week). P.S. I love swinging pendulums so much, we're even offering them on our site now.
You can imagine my surrender as I opened Kitty's book in physical form for the first time about 3/4 of the way through and saw the words, "Hearts break so they can open." - Rochelle Schieck
I opened up to my one and only quote in the book. I had a question about heartbreak and the quote was about heartbreak. A spoonful of sugar (synchronicity and magic) helps the medicine (life) go down.
I get it. I get that life is full of challenges that can be embraced as initiations. I get that the world is conspiring on my behalf for my highest good and when I am in my body after doing a Qoya class, being in nature dancing wildly at the beach or post a hot epsom salt bath, my body reminds me of this truth. But, my mind. Oh, my mind, also loves to dance with the questions "Who?", "What?", "Where?", "When?", "How?" and of course, "Why?"
Amused. Enjoying the irony. Still heartbroken, I go on to my next divination tool. Shuffle.
Looking at my iPhone, I choose the playlist with a couple thousand songs and hit Shuffle as I wait for guidance to come through (again).
Lucky for me, shuffle knows me better than I know myself.
Jim Morrison arrives and perfectly on cue reminds me to "Break on Through to the Other Side."
The funny thing is, this isn't the first time I've received this message during a harder time in my life. Three years ago I was also feeling heartbroken and decided the best way to deal with it was to make a list of all my biggest dreams and desires and then start checking them off, one by one. At the top of my desire list for the last ten years was, "Hike the Annapurna Circuit in the Himalayas of Nepal."
With a little planning, preparing and saving, I was off. At the peak of the Annapurnas, almost at 18,000 feet, I had a moment where I really thought I was going to die. Literally. I couldn't feel my feet and I couldn't feel my hands because I was SO cold. The altitude was affecting me as my brain felt foggy and the lack of oxygen along with exhaustion was making me very sleepy. I looked up at the sky and everything felt suspended in slow motion.
I did the only thing I knew to do, pull out my music and press shuffle. Guess what song came on? Yep. The Doors singing, "Break on through to the other side." This song gave me everything I needed because it reminded me that this is a journey. The goal is not to accomplish life, it's to live it and when we surrender to the call of our soul, the journey is infinite. All we need to do is keep going and break on through to the other side. Never ending, always exploring and taking some time here and there to deeply deeply rest. I made it up over that mountain and when shuffle gave me the same song three years later, I knew I'd make it again because hearts do break so they can open.
I remember reading that The Doors chose their band name as a nod to Aldous Huxley's book "Doors of Perception". It's interesting to notice the saying, "we don't see things as they are, we see things as we are." When I am in a place of heartbreak, I see and feel the heartbreak of the world around me. And that is powerful. Compassion is truly a gift. When I'm dancing to Break on Through to The Other Side and feeling courageous, resilient and bold, I see all the ways in which we are all doing the best we can, making great art out of our human struggle and really experiencing life. At the end of a Qoya class and I am in a place where I deeply remember what is good and true and honest and soul, I see that everywhere as well. Qoya is based on the idea that through movement we remember. Through movement, we shift our doors of perception. Through movement we remember the physical sensation of our essence that is wise, wild and free. The intention is that in class you feel this feeling of your essence, of your truth and then you set that feeling as north on your compass to guide your way through this journey of life.
I invite you to experience Qoya and see if through movement, you remember as well.
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10 Days to Love Qoya
Qoya in Minneapolis: September 20-21st, 2014
Qoya in Austin: October 4-6th, 2014
Qoya Woodstock Retreat: October 17-19th, 2014
Save the date: Vancouver, November 1-2, 2014
Celebrate the New Year with a trip to New Zealand and co-ed Qoya Retreat at Aro Ha January
Costa Rica March 28-April 4th, 2014 (Sold Out! Waiting list only!)
***The first Costa Rica retreat sold out with the early bird! We've never had that before, so I called to see if we could get more rooms, but they were not available. However, they did have the next week available, so we reserved those rooms and are offering a second week to embody the woman that is wise, wild and free!
Costa Rica April 4th-11th, 2014 ($200 early bird until Sept 15!)
Break on through,