On a scale from 1 to 10, rate your relationship to time. One means you think time is a cruel pain in the ass who stands between you and what you want 24/7. You feel victimized by time and generally anxious as every thing is either too fast or too slow for your liking.
Five is you are rather neutral. You're not particularly upset about the past or enthusiastic for the future. Your relationship to time is like that to toast. It's nice when it's there. You have potatoes if it's not. Whatever's clever.
Rate yourself as a ten if you dance with time and take it like your passionate tango partner. You savor the pauses between the voices of your desire and the appearance of them in your physical reality like foreplay. (The enjoyable kind.) Is there not enjoyable foreplay? That's for another blog post. You revel in gratitude for the room to breathe between life's experiences and see the perfection in your and the universe's timing. Even when it feels wildly imperfect, you have a deeper trust that at some point you will realize that it was perfect all along. Until that becomes obvious, you are patient.
So, on a scale from 1 to 10, what is YOUR relationship to time? Write it down a piece of paper or start a new note on your iPhone.
I lead retreats, classes and workshops for women based on the idea that through movement we remember. We remember our essence is wise, wild and free. Through a combination of yoga, dance and sensual movement we embody the feminine and focus less on how it looks and more on how it feels and when it feels good you know you're doing it right. It's a shift from moving in your body in pursuit of an external sense of validation to an internal sense of validation. It's like a Joseph Campbell dance class. You follow your bliss and see where it takes you. For the next Qoya retreat in Costa Rica, the theme is the dance of time, so I've been researching and workshoping how we as women relate to the concept of time.
Here's what I found. Almost everyone is mad at time. There is some serious grudge holding! Some disappointment. Heaps of doubt. And a general distaste for the drink that time has served us. Just about everyone I observe feels like if they were in control, they would be doing a much better job at sequencing life's events than Mr. And Mrs Time.
Suggestions for this struggling relationship to time? As always, it's internal. I can't recommend using one's will to fight, shift and attempt to force life in the direction we desire, but I can recommend exploring shifting one's perception.
How do you do that? You feel it. The move is to evolve your perception. Shamans talk a lot about breaking out of the binds and illusions of linear time into circular time. Kabbalists talks about our unhappiness (and timing) coming from egoic desire for the self alone and happiness found (timing approved of) when we shift into our souls and serving the desires for the highest good of all.
My experience shifts when I am less caught up in a specific judgment about this moment in time or the spot on the journey from which I sit, but I become the sacred witness to the dance of time itself. Where it's less of a marking on my "timeline" and more of a timelessness of eternity of spirit. As woo woo is it may sound. You know when you feel it.
Those moments where time expands and so does your mind, heart and spirit. Times like when you see a desert sunset, when you feel the warmth of your lover's body in the middle of the night. When you are enchanted by the contagious laughter of a child. When you channel something bigger than yourself and do great work. When you experience the bliss of helping someone else on the next part of their path. Mostly, I feel the ecstatic agreement with time when I dance.
With my heart beating, music playing and body dancing somehow life clicks into that place where it makes sense again. I feel more like an eagle able to see the big picture again.
Qoya is a map back into our essence, but as the old spiritual saying goes, "there's lots of ways to climb the mountain." Maybe it's through movement for you too. Maybe it's through being in nature. Maybe it's through self-care. Maybe it's through going on a vacation and taking time to rest and adventure. Maybe it's through being active surfing, kayaking, paddle board surfing or hiking. Maybe it's a combination of all those things and you come to Costa Rica to dance with time for a week. However you do it, just like your therapist would discourage you from yelling at your significant other and blaming your problems on them. I invite you to look at your relationship with time and find a way to give time a little love. Maybe a thank you note. Have you ever thought of thanking time before? Probably not. Coming into right relationship with time releases us from the grip of the past and the worry of the future, so we can be fully present in the now. Which is where all the good stuff is.